The Beach

Hello everyone! As you can see from the title, I will be talking about the beach. But before that, I was going through my old posts and saw Henry Montana, I like the way I wrote it so I'll try that kind of layout. Also, I haven't been posting for a long time so I wrote this for you! It's the longest post I've ever done.

First, let me state one thing.

Sand, Fuck off.

You were fun at first, but not when I'm still finding you in random places!

My Experiences with Sand

Situation 1:

So I walked into my bedroom, I was going to go swimming with my father. I grabbed my swimsuit and walked towards the bathroom to change. I thought my swimsuit felt oddly heavy, so I can turned my swimsuit over. The only reaction I had that I can say that completely explains my reaction is "What the fuck?!" All the sand in the bloody world fell out of my swimsuit. "Oh fuck off!" More sand came out of the top part of my swimsuit when I tipped it over. So I didn't even bother to continue to wear it, so I threw it straight onto the ground and yelled for my aunt.

Situation 2:

"Ladidadida~ time for some snacks!" I skipped over to the sofa with my snacks. I realized that I still have some snacks in a bag I took to holiday. I grabbed my bag and before putting my hand in to grab my favorite bag of crisps. "Huh? I thought I haven't opened this yet?" I felt something like crumbs in my bag, when I see pulled out the crisps I noticed that it was still closed.... "Oh my god!!!! Fuckkkkkkkk Offffffff!" And also that there is sand all over the bag of crisps. Not only that, there is sand inside my bag, 

E V E R Y W H E R E

So, as you can see, I'm not too fond of sand. You come from the beach, so stay at the beach, you are not needed anywhere else.

Seats at the beach

So in Thailand (where I live) there are a lot of beaches. Every beach has seats for you, which you need to pay for. The seats are quite comfortable, there're four seats (this is the standard amount) and a table. They give you a menu that you can order drinks in, there's also an umbrella above all this, also there are people that walk around selling stuff (I assure you, the stuff they sell are safe and are not poisonous) They set it up like a restaurant  at the beach, if you want to sunbathe there are seats in the sun. Then there's some space for sand before you reach the ocean. The seats are near each other but there's like a million seats spread out all across the beach. Usually people would chose seats about two of three tables away from each other, but some twats just LOVE sitting next to people or on the seats behind and infront them. I don't really mind but the type of people that do that....well, I'll make a list.

The loud family

These types of families are, as the title says, loud. The children in this family, NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP. They act as if though they have never been to the beach before, asking questions non stop, fighting with each other, screaming, crying, too excited, always yelling at their parents to play with them. That's not all that bad, the worst thing is when they come up to you and TOUCH YOU! I probably sound like a bitch for dating this, but in Thailand I am considered a beautiful person. Kids are also very attracted to me, they would randomly come up to me and touch my hair. I don't really mind but THEY TOUCH MY HAIR WITH THEIR FILTHY FINGERS!

I

Saw

Them

These kids always pick their noses and EAT IT. Then they suck their fingers, after eating food they don't wash their hands. THEN THEY TOUCH MY HAIR!!!

Fuck Youuuuuuuuuuu

That's not the only thing they touch, they also hug me. What do their parents do? NOTHING!!! They laugh and say how cute their kid is, all I can do is smile. It is not cute when the kid is bloody filthy!!! Then they get addicted to me, they won't leave me until their parents tell them to get home, while my day at the beach is completely ruined

The Drunk Teenagers

So these people, they aren't drunk when they first come here, but they keep ordering beer and eventually end up completely drunk. After that they open crappy music on their speakers and sing along crappily. Oh, did I mention loudly as well? They keep talking loudly but it's complete nonsense because they are drunk. Then I can't even get up from my seat or take of the towel because when me and my sister do, they whistle and check us out. Then they say stuff like "you are so cute." "Come here baby, we'll have some fun" very drunkly. Then after a while, they have a fight and we need to move away from them before we get hit, or we just play at the beach (with our important stuff) and wait for the owner of the seats (that make food and sells drunks) to come clear them up.

Lovey-Dovey Couples

They are always acting lovey-dovey, like Honeyyyy~ Darlinggggg~ *hugs each other* and the most annoying line ever "you go first >3<" "No, you go firstttt >O<" "No you~~~" "Noooo you >~<"

JUST FUCKING MOVE ALREADY!!! Ugh, then they are always giggling behind you, hugging each other and kissing each other. If you want to do stuff like this, plzzz get a bloody room! Well half of the reason this is annoying is because I'm single and my love life sucks. But who cares? -3-

The Teenage Girl Groups

They are the most obnoxious group here, they never shut up! They are ridiculously loud, talking about the most random crap ever! Then they start gossiping about *insert name here* ridiculously loud and making fun of her. Like, what would you do if she was at this beach too? I'll give you a little example of something's they say

Girl 1: "OH EM GEE, Like have you seen the new *korean boy band* music videos?

Girl 2: "Like totally, gurlll! I like saw it the first second it came out"

Girl 3: "*name* was so hawt in the music video! NO ONE can beat his handsomeness"

Girl 1 & 2: "Like Totally!!!"

Girl 4: "You know what? *Name* was such a B-I-T-C-H"

Girl 3: "Ugh her again?"

Girl 5: "was? You mean 'is' "

Everyone: "Hahahahaha!"

Girl 1: "You know what? I just heard that she just stole someone's bestfriend!"

Girl 3: "OH EM GEE, She did not just do that!"

Girl 2: "I think she just wants to be hated"

Everyone: "True! Hahahahaha"

Girl 5: "is that her over there?"

Girl 1: "It is!"

Girl 4: "I have an idea, let's speak really loudly so she can hear us!"

Girl 3: "Right ahead of you girl~"

Girl 2: "Some people just don't know who thier place!"

Girl 1: "Stealing someone's bestfriend just like that."

Girl 5: "What a B-I-C-T-H"

Girl 4 and 3: "Totally!"

Everyone: "Hahahahahaha"

Welp, I just proved my point. That's what they would do if she was at beach as well. The things they gossip and make fun about, they aren't even sure if it's true or not. (−_−＃) This type of people at the beach annoys me waaaaaaay too much. Before I go on a long rant I will stop here.

The Private Bubble Destroyer

These are the type of people that makes friends very easily. They're not much of a problem if you came to the beach with friends, but if you come to the beach alone then these people will annoy you so much. They would walk up to you and talk to you, they are always alone so they try and find a friend. At first they are fun and they seem like god people, but there's always something a bit off with them. I'll make a little list

1. They are always a little too close to you, invading your private bubble

2. They don't stop talking

3. They are too comfortable with you despite just meeting

4. Their questions are a bit invasive

I would recommend stoping them right there because if you go any further.... Well, they'll start asking very invasive questions. Keep trying to be your "Friend", ask for your contact information. (If you give it to them, they will not stop texting you, so don't give it to them) there's no specific age for people of this type, you'll know them when you see them. They will give out a bad vibe and just creep you out.

Things to do at the beach

There are a few things things you can do at the beach, I will make a list of things that I find acceptable and things are not

Acceptable Things

1.Play on the sand

✴︎If you don't mind getting sand into your clothes and end up finding it everywhere then playing on the sand is very fun.

✴︎You can spend your entire time at the beach making an awesome sand castle with a water border and a tiny bridge to cross. Like those ones you see in the movies

✴︎Or you could bury stuff. I'll give some examples of things you can bury.

  1.Peoples Feet

  2.Someone else

  3.Yourself

  4.Your parents items

  5.Money

  6.An empty bottle with a message

  7.Food

  8.the corpse of a fish

  9.Broken glass

 10.A book (preferably your parents)
✴︎Get shovel (or a spoon) and start digging for treasure. You could find money that some idiots buried or you could find broken glass or my personal favorite, sea shells!

2.Swim in the sea

✴︎There's huuuuge open sea right in front of you so why not just swim in it? There's nothing wrong with that, also it's easy to swim in the sea, it doesn't feel heavy either.
✴︎Bring your friends who can't swim to practice here! As i said before the water isn't heavy and that's because it's salt water. Also salt water helps with floating, so your friends will float easier than in normal swimming pools.
✴︎The sea has waves! My personal favorite thing to do with the waves is jump over it, childish, I know but once you try it you'll know how fun it is. You won't look stupid either because it just looks like the wave took you up. another thing you can do is just wait for a huge wave then dive straight into it
✴︎Pee in sea, it's all salty anyway
✴︎Go on the rides they have, like the banana boat or a jet ski! If the waves are high enough, go surfing. Honestly I have never surfed before so I don't know the feeling but I think it'll be fun!
✴︎Find pretty seashells in the sea. I find my prettiest shells from the bottom of the sea, just dive down and if you find any hard-ish stuff just grab it. (be careful of crabs)
3.Enjoy the scenery
✴︎It's not like you can go to the sea everyday (unless you live near there, but whatever) So enjoy the scenery, it especially pretty when you go there when the sun is setting or when the sun is rising
✴︎Watch people play on the beach and in the sea. Sometimes it's nice to just sit down and watch people have fun! (especially when they have big skiddly dong-dong-dong-dangs, jk)
4.Eat
✴︎Who doesn't love to eat? Where I live they sell food on the beach (mostly seafood) and it's actually really tasty, if they don't sell it, well someone's gonna come by with some food or just go to a 7/11 and come back
5.Talk in a moderate voice
✴︎There's nothing wrong with talking as long as you keep it down
✴︎You can sing as well but, as I said, keep it down
6.Sunbathe
✴︎There's sun blazing down,it's so hot, what should I do? I have an idea, why don't I sunbathe! Make use of that sun and get a natural tan! (Sunscreen not included)
✴︎Don't stay in the sun for too long though because instead of a tan you'll look like a new born baby, not to mention you won't be able to touch anything because it'll hurt like hell
7.Take Pictures
✴︎There's nothing wrong with taking pictures, So knock yourselves out! But don't think anyone will be responsible if you drop your camera in the water.
✴︎ Here are some thing's you can take pictures of:
  1.People in the sea
  2.Yourself
  3.Your friends
  4.Fish
  5.The scenery
  6.People playing volleyball/with the jet ski/ with the banana boat
  7.Your feet
  8.Dead fish
  9.Boats
  10. Kids making sandcastles

Unacceptable Things

1.Kick/Throw sand at people
✴︎This absolutely unacceptable, what if that gets into someone's eyes? You'll need to pay their fees and also they might get blind, or I could just be freaking out. But one thing's for sure, it fucking hurts
✴︎Said Person will definitely find it in their swimsuit later on
2.Litter on the beach
✴︎First of all, How dare you? There are bloody trash cans you know?
✴︎Don't even think of throwing it in the sea, you are killing fish that way. Throwing rubbish in the sea is the same as someone throwing rubbish into your house. How would you feel?
3.Take a dump/piss on the beach
✴︎No, just no.
✴︎First of all, it smells. Second of all, what if people step on it and need to go home with that crap of their shoes/foot. Don't even start arguing with me saying "Even dogs can do it, why can't I?"
My answer is, Are you a dog?
4.Destroy Sandcastles
✴︎Do you know how long little kids work on that pile of crap lovely piece of art? You destroying it is like you destroying their hopes and dreams. Not to mention you are also wasting the effort they put into those sandcastles
✴︎If it were an accident then that's fine, but if she's still there, help her/him rebuild it
5.Go Fishing
✴︎Don't fish in the sea, what if someone swims by and you caught them instead of a fish? (Okay, that's kind of funny) Not to mention you are trying to catch fish to kill in their own home! That's just evil
6.Pick up Ladies
✴︎The beach ain't a bar, don't just come and waste space just to pick up ladies.
✴︎Picking up girls in the beach? The beach is free, you need to at least pay money in a bar, so you'll at least look a bit rich but at a beach? If you aren't hot then you have no chance.
7.Open crappy music loudly
✴︎I don't mind you opening music but keep it down and pick a decent song to open
8.Kill someone
✴︎Well you can't do that anywhere anyway, but just in case some idiots are reading this and think "Oh look killing someone isn't on this list so we can do right?!"

Well, as you can see that's over (Finally) Thanks for reading my blog and i'll see you guys next time! (When will next time be I wonder, I barely even post)

-Jenny